We still are kinda strangers in some way. U just don't know it yet.
And I won't doubt the fortune tellers words. It was pretty darn accurate. I rmb this part most clearly. The part where when ur 25....u will find someone else u love more than u do now.
Im so happy! I'm not a zouk virgin anymore. I was de-flowered past week! But it was nth orgasmic also. Phuture was Just really smoky and packed with chicks that know how to dress up n look hot. And shoulder to shoulder
With strangers. Disgusting at some point. But oh well. Experience.
I love the Malaysian lifestyle. But
My American counterparts miss me!! Gosh...I miss James and my life when I was there. It was carefree not knowing what's
Next yet working and enjoying
At the same time.
Toodles.
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0 dress with ribbons only?:
Template Change Template Change!!!!!! Aaaaa! Aaaa!
Maybe if I scream a few more times, my template might actually start to change. ooo...*marvels at genius thought*
Apparently my sister is coming back from Paris & Venice on July 10th. For some reason, it doesnt seem to concern me all that much. All I know is I'll laugh at her once she gets back cz her room is empty. HAHA. Product of indecisiveness, tht's why. And her closet is damn small. Kakakaka. and so is her bathroom - not that mine is all that big. but still..bigger than hers, just like my butt :)
If she bought something back from Paris for me, I might take this post down.
If she bought something back from Venice for me, I will write another post on her stupidity - which basically just means another post on HERSELF. teehee.
I went yumcha at Pappa Rich Section 14 yesterday. I didnt even know one existed there. And Old Town and Starbucks next to it - tsk tsk..their traffic just pales compared to PR.
I love love love Pappa Rich. I've not had anything bad there. But I also love Rich Pappa. :)
I should quit work by mid-July latest. My resolution then for my free time is to:
1. Exercise 4 times a week.
2. Start my scrap book.
3. Re-organize my entire room. (more on that later)
4. Actually start filling up forms for my visa, make payment, and go for interview.
5. yumcha and E.A.T. more???
Back to my room organization.
I gave my design to my dad who gave it to the interior designer to execute it as per my drawings.
My dad consulted a feng shui master on all the rooms. Feng Shui master said that I have to sleep with window on my right hand side, which was exactly the way I designed it to be bcz I don't want sun glaring in my eyes at 8am.
Now...my dad MISINTERPRETED the feng shui guy's words of wisdom translated as screwing up my impeccable taste in design. He designed the ENTIRE platform bed the other way around!
He designed it for my lovely eyes to face the beautiful but scornful morning golden rays. So one would say I should just turn the way I sleep to face the correct way right??? But if I do that, which I am doing now, my head rest is now the closed shelves that were made for me to put stuff and for me to open up and put my laptop on to work. You can't open those shelves properly with the bed there! And the place where the head rest was designed, which is the vertical part, it's now bare and empty with softtoys and cushions on the platform. with my bed dresser at the opposite end of the platform.
The only logical thing to do after this blunder was made is to bear with it and sleep with the windows to my soul facing the gorgeous view of the park rite? because I don't want to waste daddy's money. but no! Daddy say I can't change the sleeping direction that I'm supposed to face.
Reason cited: Bad feng shui.
!!!!! how is that even a reason? That's an excuse. For what, I don't know.
So now, the entire wall corners ie. the head rest, the shelves, the bed dresser, has to be hacked bcz it's anchored into the wall and the wood has to be sent back to the factory to order and make it again. >_<
And my room will be dusty and dirty. And I have to put away all my pretty shot glasses. Mummy broke 2 of them while moving them here :(
Which means I have to sleep in my stinky-phooey brother's room with Spiderman bedsheet for a week. *and the bedsheet is rough*
I have so much to talk about. but things just keep pre-occupying me. then I get distracted. Then I don't write. then i get distracted again.
yea, i get pretty distracted easily. what's new?
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You're Not With Me Through This Journey Anymore
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone...
My favorite. I think ppl are a lil too judgemental about him.
To you:
"But first I need your hand, then forever can begin."
you should know that you're not alone in anything u do.
if you fail, when there's no one else around, talk to me.
bcz I have never judged you from what you have.
i will always be here if you need someone to talk to. if you need someone to listen.
either way pls call. i would love to hear from you. i know i said not to call.
but it lets me know you still care.
Every street I walk along, I pray I bump into you. it gives me an excuse to smile and say hi to you.
with love.
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hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....
By 
Hapi, at
Wed Jul 01, 10:30:00 AM
I really really wanna talk to you so badly. even a simple text will do. but i just can't. i know i shldnt.
so if you will, pls call me. send me a text. it wld mean im picking up a smile. receiving a smile. a smile that i havent seen since i last saw you.
i miss you.
with love,
siewann.
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0 dress with ribbons only?:
Scanning at least 1000 pages individually with a scanner that takes 45 secs to scan a page. Heh! funny reason:
I didnt wanna work for my dad so soon cz I knew that it would mean my scrap book and exercise time is given up. As it is, I have to give up my exercise time already cz Tropicana is being so strict about it :(
Anyway, the real main reason was because I was afraid I wouldnt have much time to spend with you anymore. And true enough, that happened.
So when the GM told me I might be able to get off by end of June or early July, I was of cz deliriousssss and excited! It means I get more siew ann time, but I also get more you time or rather us time. But I didnt wanna tell you too soon in case I actually counted my eggs before it was laid.
But guess what? Daddy's relationship with me isn't that great. Really, I dont know what he's complaining about because I don't even/rarely work with him. I work with other ppl in the office. but i don't really care anyway why he thinks so. So he wants me to stop work for his company which I'm perfectly fine with.
Only problem is now other than scrap book and exercise time, I'm not too sure what to do bcz the realllllll reason I wanted to stop work early was of cz, you. But oh wells, anyway, I have to find something better to do with my time then. :)
What's really ironic is that I still can't decide if I shld go back to the States or not. It should be easier now that you SHOULD be out of the equation in my decision. But it isn't! aaaarggghhh!
Im still so fickled about it. It's like stay or dont stay. Leave or don't leave. I need a quick decision. It's really simple. It's a 50-50 answer. I think I shld just flip a coin..o wait...i HAVE done that. and out of 3X, 2x says that I should stay. Hehe. maybe I should just stay huh.
On the other hand, I don't see what harm can going back to New York do to me for a yr or so. After all, alot of things may change after a yr plus. ie. the economy, enabling SIA to start regaining their $9 billion loss so they can start hiring me. Maybe feelings too. or maybe not change. haha. I hope not. but I also hope so.
yadda yadda yadda. oo. interesting message. James said that Central Park had great weather today :) I'm happy for New Yorkers. and he woulda bought me ICE-CREAM if I was there. wheeeeee! kinda wished I was back in NY now. haha. then we will watch little girls skipping along in the park and all the new mummies pushing their strollers. So cute. That made me happy. it's kinda simple isn't it? I don't know why the simples things in life make me sooooo happy. :) so says WHO i am materialistic???????
oo oo oo...one more thing, i wanna share! *squeals* the Gucci store I saw in KLCC..aahhhhh. such nice variety. Couple nice things but nth that reallyyyyy caught my eye. I should have bought the one I saw in Woodbury :( And the Tod's I saw in Woodbury too. Sigh, live with regrets. I don't like that. Nextime, I see I like, I shall buy. I really dont like living with regrets. So, nextime:
I see, I like, I stay (in Malaysia). Heehee.
I see, I like, I take action.
I see, I like, I flirt.
I see, I like, I love.
I see, I like, I sayang.
I see, I like, I keep.
I see, I like, I steal.
in love.
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Can I? It hurts so much just YOU being with her. I'm so glad I saw some pals later.
"u can control ur mind,but not ur heart. " -Jason-
It kills me not being able to see YOU but it's the only way.
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it hurts.
a million broken pieces.
I thought i was tougher than before. I am. It actually doesnt hurt as much as when I was in US.
but it still hurts. the throbbing pain.
I will be strong when strong is the only option left.
but really...im just breaking down.
it's like when he breaks my heart, he tries to break it softly in hopes that it wont hurt as bad. but it's the same. a break is a break.
and like someone said, "once the vase is broken, even if u piece it back together, it still won't be the same." I should have thought of this 1.5 yrs ago when i stupidly open my mouth. It just neve occurred to me that he is capable of opening his heart to someone else. or rather capable of opening his heart to let me out.
im just crumbling.......it hurts. can i get a band-aid pls?
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0 dress with ribbons only?:
I got this beautiful quote while stumbling upon an old classmate's blog.
"I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into the room and smile at you."
It may or may not be accurate in reality but when I read it, it described my feelings right to the most painful point. =) Me feeling this is one thing, whether HE feels the same way or not is a completely different story. It just means THIS (ie. what we're going thru) is love, thru the windows of my soul. but it may not be to him.
Because we have gone wayyyyy past the fairytale times, if it still lasts this long, deep down I believe that this is what's gonna keep us going.
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0 dress with ribbons only?:
I miss Malaysia THISSSSSS much. I think it's time I change my blog layout. It's very stale and dark. On second thoughts, maybe not. It takes up too much time.
Blogging from my dad's office, they've ran out of work to throw to me. And I'm sitting here trying so hard to churn out the words. But they're just not coming. Gawd, I have so much to say, so much to cry, and not sure if i have that much to laugh for.
I miss a gazillion things in this world. I'm trying really hard to remember what were some of the wishes I made in Austria and Italy. The only one that comes to mind is my H1 visa. I rmb muttering it multiple times in multiple churches eventhough 1 new church entitles you to 1 wish.
I THINK I did make some other ones like "useful/happy summer", "start my scrap book", (i forgot to say finish the scrap book as well)...
Another one was the r'ship turns out to be the best for the both of us. I should have rephrased it to r'ship turns to marriage so i can marry him. haha.
Oo...random thought. I do wanna get married though. I was telling TY last night. I really wanna get married so I dont have to deal with all this flying around and stupid major decisions. I will just stick to staying at one place and be fully contented. I can't wait till the day I can say
"YES, as of today and right this very moment, I am so happy and contented with my life". Let's see, when was the lastime I had that feeling?
- when I was working in New York City
- going back further....2004 - summer 2005.
Like I was REALLLLYYYY happy and contented. Nothing could sway me from moving out of those situations. but oh well, life's uncertainty.
I feel like typing a realllllyyyy long post cz I wanna ramble. hehe!
Are married ppl happy? Just married ppl should be though. Hmm...that's why I wanna get married so I can be happy.
I'm really tiredddd....emotionally. and drained. The weird (and stupid) thing is that I don't want to let go, I'm pretty sure I can, I just don't want to. Because if I let go, then I may never get to come back again. I like retracing my footsteps for some reason. Maybe I should actually listen to my dad's advice and go there for 1 year. I think alot can change in 1 year. Including my financial grounds.
I'm waiting for lunch time.I'm so hungry and bored but no one seems to be free to go yumcha.
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If directions could kill, i would be the first one dead. I'm so sick of driving. I got lost in Hartamas going there. Everything there is freakin' one way. And it only gets better. I got lost coming back. All the way at Penchala Link, i duno how i ended up there. Jason had to meet me at Mofaz.
And ss2 has so many exits, i dont know which is the one that leads me back to LDP. elaine guided me out. hehe.
And now that i've moved to this place next to tropicana, its worst. cz im so far from everything thts kelana jaya like ss2, tmn megah, and no one lives around this area or passes by this area, so i have to get myself out and around if i wanna go out.
but that being said, if i have to cope with all this shortcomings, i will gladly do it if it enables me to have a stable and fulfilling life in Malaysia.
and why the god damn fuck isnt SIA hiring? Of all the years i come back, this is the only year where i can make the decision to stay bcz of SIA. but no, this yr SIA chooses to lose USD9 billion so they can't afford to train any more pilots and hire any more cabin crew.
Cassandra, if ur reading this, pls let me know when SIA is hiring. I'll resign from myNew York job and fly home immediately for an interview! Well, or maybe 2nd round interview la since I bet lots of ppl will go for the first one. Yes, dont doubt my shortness, I am tall enough to be their cabin crew ok?if there's anything they'll fail me for, it's not having big enuff boobs. But, but but...it's been my lifelong dream to fly with SIA. I have to achieve this dream. And of cz with all the traveling perks, the pay and allowances, who doesnt want it?
"a part of me tears when I wonder why God took you away from me so early."
"if there were 1226 stars in the sky, i would dedicate 1225 of them to us, and the remaining 1 star we'll share because stars cannot be broken, but hearts can."
"If I had known where we would end up today, I would have done things so much differently in the past."
Can someone help answer this question for me?
Which is more important in holding a r'ship together: Feelings/love OR the type of person u are, as in whether ur his type or not.
I have absolutely no clue.
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omg so cheesy la you. =P no idea about the type or love.
By siewyen, at
Mon Jun 22, 09:33:00 AM
