It's unbelievable. Absofuckinglutely unbelievable.

Thank you God for the miracle. I never expected it. Never in a million years. I was literally wishing upon a star.

And my miracle came. Right at new years. I couldnt ask for anything else. Thank you thank you.

I had a great 2 weeks plus. And never felt so free.

I'm glad, relieved and excited that the trip went so well. I could not have wished for it to be any other way.

So much fun, so much talk, so much laughter and smiles, so much closeness.

I thank you for every day that you gave me.

And now it's time to realign and focus On what's important, what's best, and what's right.

I think I just ran out of my miracle quota for 2012. Used them all up in January. Lol

And I realize how I can look back and comb through my posts of how I dealt with issues 2 years ago. 3 years ago. Everything seems so minute today. And one day this will be as well. Writing does help.

Today...
today is 1 day out of 1000 days I wish you were a friend. A friend I can run to, talk to and pour my eyes (soul?) out to. today. Out of the 1000 days, just 1 day.

because today is the day i realize i can't cope with the long term. Before this, it was all about the short-term. the day by day. the breathing, living, eating. just breathing is so hard to do. but i got better.

but now, it's about the long term. and i know im not there yet. it feels like im going back to short term, but i know this is long term. i wish you were a friend today. just as how you were 1000 days ago.

if i left it at Day 1, i will still have you as a friend today.

the steps aren't even in order! i keep going back and forth, back and forth, telling myself i will reach the final step eventually. but it bounces back and i have to keep repeating them. how is that possible?

Today is the day i realize i haven't gotten better for long term yet. but i should give myself a pat on the back for doing it short term. hopefully, it's not an illusion that will haunt me in 2012.

I would like you as a friend today, can do?

God grants us wishes and miracles only if we ask it specifically and we know what we want.

How can I ask God for something
If I don't even know what I want?

Up until this day, despite the soul searching, thought provoking
Discussions, I still can't answer for certain what exactly I want that God can deliver. I know what I feel and I'm quite clear on that. But what do I do and what course of action do I take based on that I really have no idea.

It's true. The magic of Christmas is in the days leading to Christmas. All that Excitement, joy and shopping Is about the build up in days leading to 25th of
December.

I had my moment of excitement and happiness right before Christmas. Maybe Santa (or God?) really heard me and tried to make the last of 2011 at least a bit more bearable for me.

But the magic lasts in the build up. Once Christmas morning is here u open yr presents, share laughters then the rest of the day is gone.

Mine lasted till Christmas morning. :) nevertheless I shan't
Complain. I'm grateful for wat was
Given. It wasn't a miracle. It was a gift. A present.

But because of that I can and prolly have become greedy. Give a man an inch and he wants a mile.

If any miracles were to happen for 2011 it will hv To be in the next few Days.

Please grant me a miracle?

I hope he sleeps better nowadays...I write him notes in the blank space at the bottom that goes unsent. and as I'm typing, I'm nervous that my finger may accidentally hit the send button. after i finish my short note, i erase it and thank god that it didnt get sent but my wishes have been written out and he was this close to reading what i really want to tell him. it makes me feel a lot better.

today i bumped into him.
"how are you coping?"
"im good. im doing okay :) how've you been? how's he doing?"

but i really wanted to say "im not okay" and give him a huge hug. i almost started tearing but i regained composure within seconds.

seeing him made me feel a sense of comfort, a sense of him, a sense of home.

title: inspired by jayesslee

i didnt even know they came to malaysia, while i was in sydney! ironic. i would've loved to watch them perform live. but i'm sure they're just as cute live as they are on videos.

i can't believe it's only been a little more than 2 weeks. it feels like a longgggg time ago. it feels like a month or two ago. feels like in this short span of time, i've understood, comprehended, defined, grown up, moved on and am now in the midst of establishing a new routine. that's a lot of things in 2 weeks. by my standard at least.

normally, people would say "ohmigod, the past couple of weeks have been a blur and just a whirlwind." and everyone can identify with that because of the enormous amount of things happening. but this is totally untrue of thesituation. because as much as i wished it was painfully quick, it wasn't. time took its own sweet time and hence, me feeling like its 2 months even though, it's really only been 2 weeks +

but i already feel so much better. i think it's just part of me growing up. rewind 2 years ago, i would've probably cried till klang valley stops raining and i still wouldn't be done. i think i've grown up and matured in ways i cannot even comprehend. lol.

well, there's also the other option which i'd rather not explore.......

*glasses clink* to better days ahead.................

Life is so different.

Dem 7 fan! i don't want to think about it, i don't want to do anything about it. I just want it to go away, and then come back in a prettily evolved manner.

i hate this shit.

i want my life back.

I think after some time, we all just learn to move on.

Moving on is one of life's most beautiful gifts. It's like the world is at your feet. The options are limitless.

Screw closing one door and opening another window. We are talking about a thousand doors and windows for us to choose from. You can open and close as many as u like till you find something you like that suits u.

Move on. One of life's gifts to us. Only for those who can see it and have the strength to do so.