bored WOOHOO!! 44 days more till i leave this place and go back to my beloved country where bribing occurs, corruption happens, yumchar till 3 am takes place, police on the hunt at every single corner, pollution fills up the air, of cz where good food comes to live too and not forgetting the family and the bf comes to even more life with their hugs and kisses....
i cant wait...ive been so exhausted this week by all the stupid projects and tests and extra credits coming up...sigh...so glad the week is finally coming to an end with 3 fraking group meetings on Sunday..wat a way to spend a beautiful Sunday...and today's weather was PERFECT...16 degrees.....wOw!
and things are slowly improving but at the same time also de-improving....sigh..lets wait till May or like Chui Wa said, i will kill myself thinking bout it all the time...wawa, u have so many privileges that i dont...life is so unfair...God didnt tell me that before i was born...he only told my parents...
US is sooo fussy that us, international students have to fill out freaking tax forms...dem ma fan...and their tax forms, even ppl with doctrate also duno how to fill it. So dem complicated...know lah, u are the no.1 country in the world with technology and all, but can keep tax forms simple ar? dahlah, wanna take ppl's money, sumore wanna make a big deal out of it...though mine is for keeping my money la..but stil....no need so arrogant wan...visa pun mau susah susah....haih..
hmm, lately i feel lazy to go church and all that religious stuff..duno why...i also feel like im drifting away slightly...duno why...weird..but......nah!
my freaking dorm room lastime too cold had to call ppl come and adjust the temperature...now its too hot..can sleep naked also not enuff....heater and air-conditioning forever not working.sumore before i came, purposely chose this dorm cz got aircond and pay more sumore....duno my parents pay US490 a month for wat?? no heater, no air cond, no kitchen, have to share with 2 gals...u only know the real deal when u get here...but rite now, im MAD cz the air cond isnt working..the dryer isnt working..make me pay extra to re-dry my clothes...i think the only darn thing that is actually working in Marquette 100% is the Bursar office..where u go pay ur insurance, ur fees, and ur stuff....that is the only place they welcome u perfectly and do everything nicely...in the dorms, everything sucks...well, its not too bad tho..i still have a bed, table and closet..but so wat??? it doesnt have my winnie the pooh bedsheet on it, it doesnt have my nice red and brown teddy bear bed sheet on it, it doesnt have my matching yelllow comforter and it doesnt have my matching bolster. The closet. I cnt even begin to describe it. Its prolly 1/3 shorter than wat i have at home. It doesnt have drawers. My table, the light is so dim that i have to buy another lamp. but its a pretty cool table i must say..bcz it has a thin drawer to put keyboard actually..but so wat/?? it has like only 2 shelves above my head..my hse has like 10 shelves above my head...boo :( oh well, that's how u define a dorm. not forgetting the "dorm" food which sux.
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mine Someone who isn’t supposed to be reading this is reading it. U know who u are. and, better still, I know who u are. Nope, it doesn’t give u a right to just bcz u are……………..
*Chinese accent* “be a woman! do the right thing!*
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fuck the world FUCK!!!!! im so pissed at the whole world!!!!!!! everyone seems to be so busy with their work…….first it was gc, then it was stuart…WTF?!?!?!?!?! then matt’s hse no food when I want someone to spoil me and sth to cool me down! AARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! work can go rot in hell!!!!!!!
ppl who duno how to pujuk me when im down are stupid, dumb and they deserve to die!!!
AAAAAAAAAAARGRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
im gonna rip my hair out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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New Orleans and etc Ok, so, New Orleans was the BOMB!! yes, its physically tiring cz we have to gut houses. But i learn alot from reflections after the work. I learn that it's heart-ripping to see ppl's wedding photo scratched and spoiled, to see photo albums discolored by water, to see ppl's most prized possessions in the most dirty manner. I also learnt that the US govt aint that great after all, they are not doing anything to help the ppl down there, other than providing trailers for them to live in. I also learn that there are ppl like Don(just another average New Orleans guy), who is amazing and wld go all out to save the ppl in St.Bernard Parish(where i worked) during the hurricane. I also learnt that when God strips humanity down to the bare minimum with natural disasters like Katrina, it is then that u see humanity at its ugliest and also humanity at its most beautiful moment.
Looting, holding Don at gunpoint just bcz Don didnt have enuff space in the boat to save that guy, man choose to go back to his flooded home of 8 feet underwater just to take US200 and his stash of beer when his wife and 6-yr-old daughter is with him, 4 men raping a black woman..can u imagine??! at a time of Katrina, when everyone is trying to save their own lives, these 4 men can only think of satisfying their sexual desires - what i call men with no control of their own lust. You can see humanity at its most beautiful moment with ppl like Don and Jimmy (Don's good fren). They save ppl's lives eventhough Don has his own family safely transported to Texas.
As Mary Jo and Aik(volunteers who were in charge of taking care of us) quoted: For every ONE bad story u hear, there are TEN good stories happening elsewhere. We do reflection every night, we share our inner most thoughts within the group, we reflect on what we saw or heard that day. We gutted 2 and a half houses. The half was bcz we didnt have enuff time to finish it. We were supposed to gut 2 only. We had extra time, so we moved on to the 3rd one.
At the 1st hse, the owners were an old couple. They were very sweet. As i cleared the house, I saw their wedding picture. It was in a horrible shape. If that had happened to me, I duno wat I would do. They brought us snacks and food the next day they came to visit us. The old lady was so nice. Although I already cleaned my hands and was prepared to have lunch, I saw her sorting through her pile of china dishes. I offered to help her do it since it was heavy, but she refused my help saying she didnt want my hands to get dirty and i shld go get lunch after al the work I have done. No doubt they were a sweet couple, but when u hear their comments and thoughts on the ppl of New Orleans and the state govt, u wld be shocked. The old man was a very nice guy. But we were shocked when he made such a racist comment saying that the blacks push them out of the area, they are the dirty ones, causing all te problems, and such....so, there is 2 sides to a coin....Their names were Moe and Ruth.
In the 2nd hse we worked at, we didnt get to meet the owners. In the 3rd house we worked at, which was the largest hse, we only got to met the owner after clearing up his hse for awhile. and guess wat we found?? Tonnes of beer cans, Tonnes of Nintendo games and porn video tapes! How do we know they were porn? bcz they were labelled with names such as gals, guns, pistols, sexy, etc...u get the picture....and he had tonnes of video tapes. we put all his video tapes in a wheelbarrow but it still didnt fit. He had them all labelled till 790, estimation on 790 video tapes. I am not saying he had 790 porn tapes, but we found quite a few. So, this was our impression of the owner of the house. I know he had sth to do with the education field, maybe a lecturer or sth cz when i cleared his room, i found official papers regarding a college. So, we all cldnt wait to see how this guy wld turn out to be like. When he finally came, he was such a nice guy. He was a black guy, tall and sturdy. He threw us off completely. Now, u see, a neighbor who had a small house paid US5500 to gut her hse...his hse was like 3 times the price. It cld have been US7000, considering the fact that the old lady was conned. And he definitely cldnt afford US 7000. Nevertheless, he gave a donation of US500, eventhough he lost all his property and belongings. Now, how generous is that?? considering that we are volunteers and we never expected any money? of cz the money went to the funds..but still, like i said earlier, there are 2 sides to a coin...weird huh? porn, beer, video games and a donation. free food, snacks, nice talk and racism. Never judge a book by its cover.
Day 1
We left Marquette Uni at 8 am and reached St. Jerome Catholic Charities(the organization we work for) at 130 am. Everyone else in the car drove except me.I am officially now known as the Sleeper. At Catholic Charities, there was no bathroom, only toilet. So we DIDNT BATHE! the gals slept in the library while guys slept in the classroom. It was an 18 hour dirve.
Day 2
St. Jerome is 45 mins from New Orleans. We got up in the morning and were thankful for the sun that we can wear tshirts without jackets. Guys were playing Frisbee while the gals just chilled.
gals chilling out... tiro and the guys playing frisbee
the beautiful weather at St. Jerome Catholic Charities
It was Sunday. St. Patrick's Day wasnt till Friday but New Orleans ppl busy celebrating. Everyone was in green. Fat, old, young, thin. it was DISGUSTING!!!! arrrghhh!!! horrible!!! We were driving, on our way to the army tent, which was where we were gonna live....We slept on army cots which were like so narrow. It fit me perfectly, but I cldnt turn my body left or rite, or i wld feel the stupid metal bar jabbing my ribs. I cant imagine how those who were fatter than me slept properly. We took pics for our IDs and they freaking tretched our pics. Look so fugly. No, im not gonna post that pic up.hehe! Then we went out for a tour around New Orleans and the camppus of Loyola Uni. They brought up to Mississippi River where the levies broke, which added salt to Katrina. Petrol kiosks and restaurants were desserted. Everywhere was empty. A KFC restaurant was just semi torn down. PEtrol stations' roofs were blown off. The showers in the army camp was HORRIBLE. SOOOOO many of them were clogged. and we were treated like prisoners. There wld be 3 freaking guards standing at the entrance whenever we drove in and they wld turn on their flashlights to make sure everyone had their ID. We had to wear our IDs 24/7. In the camp, guards check ur IDs randomly. There were guards everywhere. outside the laundry room, outside all the shower trailers, at the registration counter, at the reception, at the entrance, at the mass hall, where we had our meals. It was horrifying. Not to mention, we were there to help, and they treat us that way. How degrading. Lights out at 10 pm. curfew at 12 am. Since we were on a mission trip, no alcohol was allowed, eventhough we were downtown and over 21.
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siew ann with the siewann story on the 10 o'clock news tonite... Muah Muah Muah!! my last entry for the week. will miss u bloggie…I’ll be heading down south for New Orleans..going there to help the Katrina victims that need new houses…..
We bathe in community bathrooms, sleep in army tent, wear the same freaking clothes everyday for work, sleep on sleeping bags, wear masks, leather gloves, boots, …
-I’m a survivor, I’m gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on surviving!-
I’ll make it…I won’t die…as someone said, im there to help …not holiday…so its an experience…I mean how often will u get a chance to do that le?? I know chui wa wont wan la…all she can think of is Mardi Gras party…hahah!! controversial topic la…ppl 6 months after Katrina still suffering..u wanna party…heartless la u…
Lets hope that when I come back, I will have TONNNNESSSS MASSIVVEEE TONNNESSSS of photos to upload…MWAHAHAHA!! then u will get to see the face u’ve been missing so badly all this while..
I’ll make myself very clear here…no one, I repeat NO ONE will see a photo with me in the mask and nonsense….pics will be of the wrecked New Orleans and me dressed up nicely for dinner/church or touring/sightseeing….hahahahaa!!!
There u go! I just DASHED your bubbly dreams of seeing me in those plastic-leather-ish stuff eh?? we look like some kinda species of ppl that have deadly disease when we wear those le…how can I post it up here??
oh, but im sure I’ll have MASSSIIIVEE TONNNESS of funnnn there…with my awesome group leaders…not to mention that one of them, is CUUUUTEEE …hehe!! and has an amazing personality….and CUUUUTEEEEE! gosh….erm, ok, im turning RED….ahem…..and ill be spending 16 hours in the car with him hopefully…..or maybe the other leader, which is great too..cz she is a great leader…alwis there for her group mates….Courtney Sullivan…and Tim ______
and rite now, im crazy over this song by lee hom – kiss goodbye….gladly introduced by choo gee chang….lovely song and lovely video clip…
I finished packing this afternoon…we are only allowed one bag for 9 days of travel…and there is only one bag I have…its so freaking small…even after taking out 3 shirts, its still round like a ball….much like when u see me bundled up in thick furry winter clothes….ball of FAT….not forgetting that I haven’t put in my toiletries yet…sigh…im gonna throw away those gloves, boots, a shirt and wat not there…they’re going to be freaking MOOOLLDYYYY….EEWW!! sth like those kulat u see on the bread when u do the Std. 6 science project…that’s the first thing that comes to my mind….cz I still rmb I left the bread over nite on the sink for it to “grow mold” and the next morning, my sister smatly TOASTED it for breakfast and let the mold go thru her stomach…..MOLD infested stomch…GROSS!!
and im supposed to bring sth that represents me or wats important to me…I chose to bring a photo album that has everyone that is important in my life…my whole family, not forgettin my cute lil Daniel…I miss him eventhough he alwis says “jie, buy this one for me la….plssss…”..sigh…and of cz the bf that belongs to yours truly, my bitches chui wa, annie and ting ting…..and last but not least, my beloved kakak…I don have a photo of her in the album…but I have a letter that she wrote to me while I was in US…I miss her….I wld give anything just to make her stay, even double her salary…but my mum taught me not to be selfish and to allow others their happiness…she hasnt seen her husband and children in 3 yrs….i don’t see my bf for 9 months, also im dying alr….BUT, I promised her that the first time I ………, I will tell her….i also promised her that if we do get married, I will personally pay for her air ticket to attend the wedding…..And I promised her that once I reach KL, I will call her in Indonesia…I love her soo much….and I definitely miss her…more than my mum….sumtimes, the simplest ppl are the most supportive ppl…when u are way up there in the skies, u don’t realize the shit u left behind while u were on the way up, and it’s the simple ppl that takes it…Kakak Mapiah, I miss u lah….Kit, make sure she sees this and tell her I miss her so much ok?? and I hope she gets the tshirt she wanted….
not forgetting, we will be on TV, channel 4, NBC….there will be a reporter and videographer following us around for 2 days….publicity for Marquette, …..woohoo!! but we actually really need more asian international students….they are so badly in need of them its like when u really need to have a go at it, and the rubber thing-y isn’t there……that BADDDD!!! and then , Marquette will be impregnated with loads of Americans……
erm…next interesting topic…I need CASH! well, wats new? its alwis been the same story…no, but seriously, im running low on cash this sem…I duno if I can tahan till end of this sem before I go home and get my refill again…hmm…I m alr not shopping…I really haven’t bought any top or pants or skirt…even though they were like on sale…the only thing I bought was like a super thin sweater that I might need for work in New Orleans…cz all my long sleeved shirts are pretty..i’d cry if they were soiled..so I bought a ciplak wan…sigh...money money money…
There is this cute guy…he is mixed Korean-American…how cute is that?? his skin color is totally awesome..rosy cheeks, like typical American, yet totally asian…he has black hair….sigh..cute cute cute….and guess wat?? He owes me a Japanese meal..teehee(((((((((((…ok, I shld stop grinning…heheh! so anyways, we’re gonna do it after spring break…woohooo!! and everyone HOLLERRRRR with me! im goin to new Orleans for the EXPERIENCE of a lifetime!!!!!! byessss babes!! im assuming no guys read this blog…well, if there are, then YOU shall be known as a babe on my blog! so there, BABE! have an awesomely amazing SPRING BREAK! and its SPRING>..weather is the best….!
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*continued from previous* Now we’re at another party.
There are too many people here.
Everyone’s pushing and fighting,
Just to get a beer.
My friend is falling down.
She doesn’t look so good.
I don’t think she knows,
She drank more than she should.
I’m scared because now she’s sick.
But I don’t know what to do.
Maybe if I hadn’t drank so much,
I’d be able to see her through.
We stumble home together,
Although I know it isn’t safe.
But my head is going round and round.
It’s now really really late.
I can’t get my friend to go to sleep.
She’s just lying on the bathroom floor.
I go down the hall to get my RA.
But I stop outside her door.
I can’t ask for her help though I wish I could.
She’ll have to write us up.
So I go back to my room only to find,
My friend has puked all over my stuff.
I realize now that I don’t have a choice.
My friend has passed out in the hall.
I need to do something before it’s too late.
So I pick up the phone and call.
Public Safety is coming.
Our hall director is here.
Just because my friend didn’t know
She had one too many beers.
It’s a toxic. It’s a poison.
I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.
But it has never seemed so real,
As seeing my friend carried out the door.
So even though I drank like I thought was cool.
I still feel stupid and alone.
If only my friend and I had done what
We’d wanted and just stayed home.
Now I understand what I should have done.
I should have listened to my fear.
Considering I almost let my friend die.
And all just for a beer.
-Ashley Klinger-
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All for Just a Beer It’s a toxic. It’s a poison.
But I do it all the time.
I’ve seen it almost kill my friend.
But that hasn’t changed my mind.
I don’t really wan to do it.
But I shouldn’t just stay home.
If I don’t go along,
I’ll feel stupid and alone.
I hear people say, “It’s so much fun.
I live for Friday nights.”
Maybe I’m just being a baby.
Maybe they are right.
I guess throwing up doesn’t really suck.
I guess my head doesn’t hurt that bad.
I guess my homework can wait another day,
Since it already has.
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WAH sial!! she dem fucking bitchy la....they deserve to be together....those who cheat together end up together......................................then separate together when they are done fucking each other......its ok, since ur both a strong believer in God, He will repay u in his own terms....maybe herpes??haha! i duno....
the other person that deserves to be thrashed is none other than ....................
things tht dont need ur concern, u so 8. things that really need ur attn, u look past it like it was just another hot chiq that walked by u...
sorry, but i just dont think u deserve to be standng where u are rite now.....u earned it, u slacked. slackers dont stay in my territory. they get booted out once they slow down.
notice the word slackerSSS! "S"...means there are numerous. i could just make u one of them. dont be so proud. nothing lasts. u slacked. u deserved it. i slacked. i worked my way up. u just stayed down there. u only inch up a lil when the fire cauldron boils. when it cools, ur like the mercury, u slide back down. go to hell.
oh fuck! im so dem tired and my eyes are like so dem tired....slept at 5 am last nite...cldnt sleep the whole nite...needed to talk to sumwan so badly and he wasnt available.
finally got to, and he snapped at me. wtf? go die.
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significant other with the significant change why the change? he just like doesn’t care…like he isn’t the least concerned at all.. on the other hand, had the clock been moved backwards 4 months ago, he’s gonna be worried like shit…and wont get over it… but now, its like, “hmm, wat time u getting up tmr?” WTF??? I tried my best …I did wat I cld to make him FEEL it, but he didn’t or maybe he just doesn’t want to…that’s what he claims….but how can I trust what he claims?? I used to be able to…no longer can….
its too suspicious to throw those 5 letters at him…he might just fling it out the window and say “There you go, Bitch!” and what am I to do? stand there dumbfounded like an idiot?!?! no Way!! I wld never let anyone see me in that position…not when im so vulnerable…..wait till, im enclosed and encaged by his gates of possessiveness and fence of protectiveness, then im willing to BE vulnerable to him…as his gates and fences are protecting me….rite now, those gates and fences need a wireman…BIG TIME..huge repair…..gonna cost a lot…..and he can say those words in such a jolly good old tone without forgetting to add a lil cherry with extra toppings on it. fuck u. im not here to be toyed with. tell me what u want and what u expect and what ur thinking. don’t keeping me waiting. I don’t have forever. my forever to u was till I move out. anything after that is bonus….
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Les Miserables Im feeling miiserable rite now....so miserable.....chui wa, i think i made the wrong choice....
i have presentation at 8 tmr now is 12 and im still blogging...
i only blog when im extremely happy, extremely sad or extremely bored...
apparently, i cant concentrate on my studies.but i think im trying my best alr thi sem or maybe its bcz its just the first half of the sem..i really dowan to fall back after spring break...let me keep my inspiration level for good grades up and also keep the grades on par or up....im already doing way better than last sem...i think thats an improvement at least....
i do not want to come back here after summer...but i dont have a choice do i? go thru it for another 2 yrs...
thats why i wanna go to new orleans...to appreciate what i have and others dont...to get my mind off wat i dont have and wat others have..cz i know i have more than i dont have....
hopefully, i will learn a great deal there and also tonnes of fun...
i miss msian fried rice....american's fried rice is freaking oily..the rice is practically submereged in oil...on the contrary, its "love your body" week...organised by my uni...pretty cool, i think...
we are sweeping everything under the carpet...and i still rmb Yu's advice from Day 1 till now...RULE 1: NEVER EVER DO THAT! make sure everything is clear...or else have to go back one day and dig out everything form under the carpet...but rite now, sweeping seems to be the only option...though the american way is vacuum...
