orite..so i havent been blogging again..and the only reason im blogging now is bcz im havig jet lag.its 1am and i have nbtd. Im back in Marquette. Been here the past 3 days. Sleeping has been my phobia. My palms get sweaty and my heart races when it comes to sleeping time. When my sister and gc or mum or dad or bro leaves me after chatting on msn, i feel empty and lonely.

but I cant be bothering their lives. They have their own activities half way across the globe. One has to teach, one has to go to school, one has to work, one has to prepare to leave the country, one has to coach. and this lil one over here has to learn how to sleep at the right time.

I guess its all psychology. If u tell urself u can do it, u can. and not let it be a hindrance to u. I dont see myself having that much problem when i went back to M'sia. In fact, twice, i did not gave jet lag in M'sia. Even i went back this time, for 2 weeks, i slept a lil earlier, around 12 and got up a lil earlier, 8 ish..that was fine with me. It's good habit. But here, i dont sleep till 11am. and i dont get up till 5 pm. I force myself to drink coffee and stay awake. I end up overdosing and now i still cant sleep. I guess its all in the mind. I go back to KL, i tell myself, i only have 1 month. and 1 day only has 24 hours. of which 8 i have to sleep. I have limited time. I musnt waste my time by sleeping away my afternoons. and that's how it works. and of cz the euphoria of going home is priceless.

When i come back here, i fear everything. i fear sleeping time cz i cant sleep. I fear shutting down my comp cz i fear loneliness. I fear having to work hard again but getting disappointing results. I fear having to deal with my long distance r'ship in the last stretch and it wont work just at the last minute, just as how things tend to work at the last minute. I fear alot. Im happy bout the weather. it's the only only thing. Im happy bout my salary. Im happy bout graduating soon. But I cant graduate if i cant get thru the next 5.5 months at least, until my parents come.

yes, i have some pictures from guangzhou, HK, macau, and of cz ipoh, but i havent put them up on picasa. Maybe, soon. someday.

and I thank God for having a great sister and a great boyfren who are alwis there to keep me company in times of loneliness and reassure me in times of doubt. and of cz my parents, siblings, boyfren and friends who never fail to encourage me to make the right decisions about my career so as not to ruin my future, which my parents worked so hard for. Thank u for putting up with me during this difficult period. and of cz my mum who so painstakingly sewed so many clothes after they were all damaged in New York.

right. i shld sleep.

0 dress with ribbons only?:

Gimme gimme more! gimme more!