Oooooo.... Big O.
My fonts are back to its regular size. so my O should be even bigger.
0 dress with ribbons only?:
I have pictures! *big goofy smile*
I have pictures from International Day on April 8th. I knowww...aeons ago right??? Remember this post??
Click HERE for more International Day pictures.
Now, remember this?? No? u dont? Sure you don't. I didn't blog about it, u asshole. It was Jannah and Sara's birthday celebration at Benihana's.
Clickety-click for more Benihana pictures!
Okay, and now, last but not least, the interview trip to New York and also the Chicago trip with Edmund to meet Sarah Yeoh...
At Shiroi Hana
The Almighty Times Square in Manhattan. It's the adrenaline rush of being there. That's why I'm going, right? Right, right, right???? ---> More NY pictures
Someone PLEASE tell me I'm RIGHTTTT!! *sobs*
Point 1: Having nervous breakdown from all the packing.
Point 2: It just hit me that I'm leaving my friends and familiarity and summer here and all the girl bonding
Point 3: I have this odd feeling that things may not work out in NYC as I want it to and I'll regret my decision.
Point 4: I have this weird inkling that I should have just taken the full-time offer they gave me in Milwaukee, instead of being SOOOO adventurous.
HEEELLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP.
Click here to save Siew Ann from drowning in sorrow. and to get yourself addicted to the Net.
Click here to read some of Siew Ann's deepest darkest secrets.
Shit. I just realized, with the second link, no one's gonna save me. I might as well just die.
0 dress with ribbons only?:
and what on earth happened to my fonts? why are they HUGE-ASS?
0 dress with ribbons only?:
0 dress with ribbons only?:
The Guitarist How is it that one can fall in love with the nice-ness of that person but still not fall in love with him? I think I'm turning into one of those firm believers of "feelings-can-be-nutured-as-long-as-he-loves-you-very-much".
Slowly, but surely.
Lately, being hanging out with The Guitarist alot. Like A.L.O.T. includes sleepover, movies, dramas, church, dinner, lunch, mid-lunch, bar, club, you get the picture. I can't say I swear he is the sweetest guy on earth, or the richest guy on earth or the most good-looking guy on earth, but I sure can say, he is a very nice, polite, and respectful guy. And for that very reason, I actually question whether I am still Siew Ann or not.
I mean, c'mon, to those who know me, you know that I don't dig these kinda guys. and to those who don't, well, now you know. I dig hot OR rich OR sweet talker guys. Yes, mutually exclusive. because collectively exhaustive of any two is just IMPOSSIBLE. admit it, dammit! but for whatever reason, I think I'm starting to dig REAL DEEP for the polite, nice, respectful guys.
*i think it must have been the spring break in Malaysia*
and im starting to think that it's very important that the guy is first polite, respectful and nice, before having feelings. because hunny, as mama alwis said, "feelings can be nurtured. feelings can be developed." And I used to say "mama doesnt know what she's talking about!" She got married in the eighties. where ppl wore polka dot skirts and dresses in the shape of a handbag. and of cz listen to Stevie Wonder. *not that it's anything bad*
but yeah, as always, mama knows best. she sure does. now that the hanging out has begun, the texting has started, the invites are thrown and the exams are over, it's time for me to move. Maybe I should have stayed and take on the proper job. Thanks to the nature of my greediness. But then, that would leave me hanging after my work is done.
I keep telling myself it's not worth going back for all that my parents paid to have me actually grow up here, and for all I studied/partied. But part of me just wants to go back for 6 months and do a quick internship while telling myself and others that in 6 months time, I am going back to the States, where I don't have to endure criticism, heartaches, surpression, depression and suffocation. It is where I can spend money like no other, where I can party like no other, and where I can fall in love like no other.
I'm just not giving myself the chance. and that's no one to blame but myself. but that's okay. one day, when the wind blows it all over, the leaves have all fallen, I know, I made the right decision.
To The Guitarist, thank you. I have the absolute most respect for you and all that you have done. I'm sorry I can't delight you any further. It would have had been my pleasure too, but there are just too many hidden things that you don't see. and I do. crystal clear.
I now declare myself to be commitment-free. because from what I've learnt, commitment takes you nowhere. it leaves you hanging. it squeezes you dry. after giving everything, you learn to take back self-pity and self-confidence and the ability to think that you can hurt others because you're not ready.
0 dress with ribbons only?:
Period. I spent the longest summer without you,
You promised but you never came,
I waited till the leaves fell in September
but you never appeared.
That was the summer I regretted most,
Interning at a place by campus,
I walked home from work everyday,
Imagining you were right by me,
Walking me home.
Baby, would you walk me to work too?
I know it's real early,
but would you do it for me please?
The fall leaves in September were
Prettier than I could ever imagine,
The blend of red, orange and yellow
mesmerized me just as you did years ago.
The fuzziness of the colors bore
Resemblance to my picture of
what the future is.
The verbalization of your knife-sharp vision
of what our future is brought my thoughts
to a complete halt,
and all that's left after that
Is a roaming photo album in my mind,
followed by a period.
0 dress with ribbons only?:
That Time of the Month ....where the smart, the stupid, the lazy, and the nerd all work their derrieres off to be the smart, or trying to be.
And someone with the brain of a jewel like mine, sits at home bitching about exams when they don't have one to begin with. and that's why I love the working life. But of course, when all the tries-to-be-smart is done with exams and in comes their summer holidays, that's when I can really sit down and have something to bitch about.
and yes, it is that time of the month....
0 dress with ribbons only?:
It's a boring update. Recently, I was at a friend's place watching a couple of episodes of Chinese drama. Let's call him Nicey. I was at his place with another friend. Both of them were gawking and drooling over the main actress, which undeniably has an innocent look and at certain points of the show, when she stares into the camera, Nicey and the friend felt as if it pierced into their heart.
Her innocence put aside...now, after 3 episodes, we decided to retire and they went on youtube, showing me her interviews and how naturally sweet looking and pretty she was, and how she speaks good English because she was in the States for a couple of years when she was in her tweens. Now, where they accessed these clips is what humored me.
They favorited those clips!
these guys are like average manly, no-groupie-kinda-nonsense guys. I may not know them very well, but after hanging out with them a couple of times, I think I can gauge what are some of the things they are likely to do and not.
This just threw me off my tracks.
Ok, maybe guys are like this, some part deep down inside them? the soft side? Maybe some of you can enlighten me.
Anyway, half way during the course of the drama, I actually wondered to myself how nice it would be to have someone to snuggle and cuddle up to while watching movies/dramas. It is then, that I realized I just want someone I can snuggle up to while I'm here. I don't feel the need that it has to be him.
I am slowly letting go and realizing that it is the bond that you share with someone that makes everything special and different. It is not the person. That being said, this bond can be created with any other person, and not just that one person that's stuck in your past. Because YOU have the capability to create it.
