Today...
today is 1 day out of 1000 days I wish you were a friend. A friend I can run to, talk to and pour my eyes (soul?) out to. today. Out of the 1000 days, just 1 day.

because today is the day i realize i can't cope with the long term. Before this, it was all about the short-term. the day by day. the breathing, living, eating. just breathing is so hard to do. but i got better.

but now, it's about the long term. and i know im not there yet. it feels like im going back to short term, but i know this is long term. i wish you were a friend today. just as how you were 1000 days ago.

if i left it at Day 1, i will still have you as a friend today.

the steps aren't even in order! i keep going back and forth, back and forth, telling myself i will reach the final step eventually. but it bounces back and i have to keep repeating them. how is that possible?

Today is the day i realize i haven't gotten better for long term yet. but i should give myself a pat on the back for doing it short term. hopefully, it's not an illusion that will haunt me in 2012.

I would like you as a friend today, can do?